Shrinked with a Beat
by kap0w
Summary: [AU After Twilight] Kate's obviously not dead. But the team are ordered to go see a shrink after the events... and we all know how happy Gibbs will be about that. Every character has a song. [IMPLIED TATE][CHAP 7:TONY! The cause of the T Rating.]
1. I Predict a Riot

Ok, here's the sitch… Twilight concluded with no one dying mkay… I'll explain it in the story later.

This is just basically gonna be a series of **song-fics** whilst visiting their "psychological adviser" xDD

**AU:** apparently coz wow, would you look at that, Kate's still here :o

**Shippings: **You really wanna ask?

Any who, onward.

(As always I own nothing, zilch, nadda. Ooh ooh ooh I do however own the shrink… and the shrinks boss. Yay for me.)

* * *

Dr Alix Parkes sighed as she flipped through her next session. A group of six NCIS members, who had bad records with many of their previous psychological assessments. How fun. She wished Director Morrow would get the hint that these people obviously didn't enjoy being shrinked. Although she would never say that to him. She'd rather keep her job thankyou very much. For some reason her own boss, Norseton, had recommended her to Morrow, saying that she had a special way of getting through to people. Yeh right. He just wanted to get back at her from the last client incident. Honestly, how was she to know that the client had a fetish for the art of caramel tart throwing? No one really took much notice of Norseton's toupee flying off anyway. They were more interested in staying out of the flying pastries way. 

The agents were late. She sat at her desk impatiently, and to relax from what seemed to be impending doom, she tapped her pen to the random song that had entered her brain. –Tap tap-ti-tap tap-. "_Hmm I need to buy that cd,"_ she thought idly. She brushed a strand of auburn hair off her face then jumped as she heard a door slamming from outside her office and the buzz of voices. _Great_, she thought sarcastically . _They're in a good mood already._

Dr Parkes's secretary buzzed them in, and her door floor open. A foreboding, grey haired man walked in first, glaring directly at her. Behind him were two younger agents, one tall male, and one arm-in-a-sling woman, arguing with each other about PDA's or something or other. Then, behind them, two others, one an older but kindly looking gentleman, the other a Goth. Dr Parkes stifled a grin as she thought they looked like they got on like a house on fire, but were so different to each other. Dr Parkes wondered where the sixth member was. Then she saw an anxious, young man edging his way in, taking in his surroundings apprehensively.

"Close the door behind you," Dr Parkes directed him, catching the attention of the other members. "I'm Dr Alix Parkes. And you must be my patients," she introduced herself, covering up the butterflies in her stomach. She had to keep a strong face if she was to get through to this team. She ignored the piercing scowl that the apparent boss was sending her and smiled at them. "Why don't you introduce yourself, one by one?" she motioned for them to take a seat and leaned against her desk.

The two arguing agents stopped and sat down, jostling each other, although the man seemed to take great care of not hurting her arm. Then he patted her knee and beamed at her. The Goth grabbed the uneasy man's hand and sat him down on the seat, the older male sitting down next to them, taking off his hat and placing it in his lap. The boss kept standing.

"You might as well get comfortable Agent…" Dr Parkes waited for him to tell her his name.

"Leroy Jethro Gibbs," her told her, and still refused to sit down.

"Ok Special Agent Gibbs. And you are?" she waited for the others to follow suit.

The guy bounced up from his seat and took her hand, giving her a large, over-zealous smile. "Anthony DiNozzo, 25 (he ignored the snort from the woman behind him), Italian, single. You may call me Tony," he winked at her, "My you have gorgeous eyes, a lot like mine wouldn't you say?"

"_Oh my god_," she thought. "_Not even 5 minutes in, and there's one hitting on me_." She looked over at the agent that had been sitting next to him and saw her roll her eyes.

"Nice to meet you Special Agent DiNozzo," Dr Parkes smiled at him, ignoring the lingering hand still on her own hand. She shook it off briskly and moved to the next person. Tony slumped back to his seat.

"Caitlin Todd, I'd shake hands but…" the woman nodded towards her right slinged arm, smiling back at her slightly, jumping as Tony prodded her.

"Thankyou Special Agent Todd," Dr Parkes smiled back at her, and looked at the next person.

"Abby Sciuto," the Goth announced brightly, "NCIS lab tech, owns a farting toy by the name of Bert, caffeine addict," she added.

"T-Timothy McGee," the young man next to her stammered and blushed.

"Thankyou Ms Sciuto and Special Agent McGee," Dr Parkes nodded at them, and then looked at the man next to them.

He stood up, "Dr Donald Mallard," he took her hand politely, "NCIS medical examiner."

Dr Parkes liked him. The older man looked the most comfortable out of all of them.

"Pleasure to meet you Dr Mallard," she smiled warmly.

"Oh please, call me Ducky," he corrected her, then looked thoughtful, "You know, you remind me of a young lady that looked quite a lot like you, same colour hair, same lovely green eyes, around your age I daresay. Met her in autopsy. We had the longest of conversations. I believe she was an aerobics instructor last…" he trailed off, still thinking.

"That's nice, do you still keep in contact with her?" Dr Parkes made conversation.

"Oh no dear, when I say I _met _her in autopsy I mean that quiet literally. Came in, held in a barrel of molasses in navy storage for a period of time. Poor woman."

Dr Parkes paled. What had she gotten herself into? She was way out her league, assessing NCIS members? She kicked herself mentally. Correction, she kicked Noreston mentally.

Gibbs noticed her discomfort and smirked.

"Let's get this over with now, Dr Parkes?" he asked lazily.

"Um, of course. But first, please, take a seat," she waved him towards a spare seat.

"I was about to suggest the same thing to you, Doctor."

Oh god, this _was _going to be fun.

* * *

So, you like? You hate? Suggestions? This is just the basic introduction of things, which is why its a bit slow starting; the song-fics and such will be coming up soon. Gibbs is a bastard aint he? Ooh and various pairing and stuff to be included as well. More to be explained next time, if enough people like the start. So review pretty please? XDD Jelly beans all round. 

_Suggestions for the artists that Abby/Ducky listen to would be appreciated, but if not, don't worry, i shall use my backup ;)_


	2. The Reason

Sorry for delaydness, although you'd think with the current TV situation I'd have nothing else to do but write this but _alas_, I have Foxtel. **Thank God**. Anywho hope this lives up to expectations.

* * *

Dr Parkes shifted uncomfortably under the stare Gibbs was giving her. She was actually surprised she was acting this way. Normally she was tough as hell, taking shit from no one. What was so different about this? She stiffened and mentally prepared herself for the launch on what could be a long rant.

"Special Agent Gibbs," she started testily, "I apologise if that sounded like a request. It wasn't'. That's an order sir. Sit down." She watched Gibbs sit down reluctantly, eying her beadily. "Thankyou. Now this is my office. My job. My orders. I am here to assist you in whichever way you need assisting in," she ignored Tony's eyebrows rise suggestively, "As NCIS Rules and Regulations clearly state under 'Workplace Health and Safety Policy', NCIS teams must attend sessions, of at least one-apiece, of psychological advice once a year. And seeing as you and your team have been under a great deal of stress and trauma, your Director, along with mine might I add, agreed it would practical in sending you this time of the year."

She took a deep breath and waited for Gibbs' reaction. She saw him smirking.

"Quite finished there?" he asked.

Dr Parkes bristled. "Far from it _Sir_."

Tony shared a gleeful look with Kate and sat on the edge of his couch, chin in his hands, watching the confrontation avidly. Kate looked at Abby and rolled her eyes, but had a trace of a smile on her face. Abby was liking this shrink more than when she first met her, man, she had guts. Ducky was watching politely and McGee was rather scared. For Dr Parkes' sake.

"Now if you do not mind, I would actually like to get this session started. Not only am I going to be assessing you individually but I will be seeing what you are like, as a group, as I relay the current situation back to you. Okay?" she questioned.

"Okay," Gibbs' replied, speaking for the whole team. His iced eyes had an unusual sparkle, despite a scowl still playing on his features.

Dr Parkes looked at him suspiciously, fully expecting a refusal. Taking the moment, she reached behind her and pulled out the case file of the team's current situation.

"Ari Haswari," she stated clearly, looking for reactions out of the team. She got none. Gibbs had them well trained. She arched an eyebrow, "Well if no one wants to volunteer to remind everyone what happened, looks like I will."

"The day of the confrontation with Ari Haswari: I am to believe that Special Agent Todd took a bullet for Special Agent Gibbs on the roof, as she was assigned to protect him. Witnessing this was Special Agent DiNozzo. On the ground covering and reporting to them was Special Agent McGee. Now, I see here in the report that Special Agent Todd was fortunately wearing a bulletproof vest, so no serious harm was incurred. From here, the report gets a little fuzzy. It just states that another shot was fired and Special Agent Todd again evaded serious injury, and possibly death, as the bullet intended for the head made its way to her shoulder. The terrorist then fled, as more shots were fired from Special Agent Gibbs, as well as Special Agent McGee on ground level."

Dr Parkes paused and looked over the top of the report to see how the team were taking it. Kate had a dark look in her eyes and was subconsciously rubbing her slinged arm. Tony was looking at his feet, although Dr Parkes could see a grim look on his face. She noticed his hand was casually resting on Kate's knee. McGee was a surprise to the psychiatrist, as his cautious demeanour has been replaced by a hard look. He was no longer fiddling with his hands, but was sitting straight and looking at Dr Parkes strangely. Ducky was still watching the scene before him politely. Abby fiddled with her pigtail, waiting for Gibbs' reaction. And last but not least Gibbs' had lost the twinkle as he death stared Dr Parkes, as if blaming her entirely for the memories put back in his teams mind.

Gibbs look was enough to kill. Dr Parkes again paled as she became ashamed at herself for bringing it up again. But it had to be done. Silently, eyes roaming the team, she waited for a response, if any. She had to break the silence.

"Anyone care to tell me what happened in the fuzzy bit? What caused Special Agent Todd to escape with only… "She peered at the medical report included, "… damage to minor nerves and muscle in the shoulder?"

Again there was silence. Then a head slowly raised and began to speak.

"I saw a glint of light from where Ari was… I knew he was aiming again," the voice started slowly, "I did the only thing I could to avoid _death_, "they stressed, glaring at Dr Parkes, "I shouted that there was another shot coming and pushed Kate to the ground. I could feel the impact of the bullet as we both went down. I could feel the blood seeping through to my body. I though she was dead for a moment, that I hadn't done enough," they broke off and looked up at Kate sombrely, "Then I heard her voice. Ordering me to get off her because I was a deadweight," their face cracked into a smile. "Then I knew Kate was alright."

Tony stopped his response and looked away from Kate and the gazes his team members were giving him. Looking in Dr Parkes' eyes he quirked his eyebrow, "Fuzziness gone?" he asked and shot her a smile, the sensitive moment gone in seconds.

Dr Parkes stared at him in amazement. How could he go from telling that, to becoming the guy that walked into the room full of cockiness? Suddenly she really wanted one on ones from all of them. As soon as possible. They couldn't over come that type of trauma the same.

"Thankyou for clearing that up Special Agent DiNozzo," she replied, shaking off any doubts she had and scribbled on the report. "Now I would like to come to the matter of the individual session you will be attending. This week coming, starting tomorrow, Sunday. One person, one day, as many hours as you want fitting into that day, fitting into to my work hours of course. As for a final report to my director and your director, there will be one. All I will be doing is listening to you, possibly advising you, and telling both directors whether you are sane or not." She saw Gibbs' eyebrows rise yet again.

"Now, as for who will be going on what day, I'll let you argue that out now and here," she told them, "That is unless there are volunteers?"

They all looked at each other. Then McGee tentatively raised his hand.

"Uh, I- I'd like to go first, if that's n-not a problem," he ventured, his anxious manner coming back, avoiding everybody's stares except Dr Parkes's.

"Thankyou Special Agent McGee," she replied softly and wrote his name on the timetable.

"Aww go McGee," Abby patted his back reassuringly then looked at the psychiatrist, "put me down for second."

Dr Parkes complied and looked at the remaining people.

"Well, I might go third then Dr Parkes," Ducky volunteered, "that is unless Jethro, Caitlin or Anthony would like to precede me?" he questioned them and got nothing from them.

"Okay," she wrote down his name for Wednesday.

Three down, three to go. She looked over at Kate and Tony. They seemed to be having a silent argument of some sort. Then she turned her laugh into a cough as Tony and Kate started to sort it out the only way they though fair. Scissors, Paper, Rock.

Tony threw a rock, Kate through a paper and smiled smugly.

"Hold on, hold on, best out three," Tony whined.

"Fine Tony," Kate rolled her eyes yet again.

Kate's smile faltered as she threw a paper again and Tony did scissors.

"Crap," Kate grumbled.

"This is the decider, ladies and gentlemen," Tony announced brightly to the others. Gibbs scowled and Tony quickly turned back to Kate.

"One, Two, Three! Dammit… one, two, three! Dammit…. C'mon one, two, three! BOOYAH!" Finally, after a pair of rocks and a pair of scissors the winner had thrown a paper over a scissors.

Tony had won and had stood up, turning in a circle slowly, his hands in the air.

"DiNozzo sit down," Gibbs growled and Tony promptly plopped back town on the couch next to Kate, who didn't look amused.

"So I take it that after Ducky will be Special Agent Todd, then DiNozzo, then… Gibbs?" she guessed.

Tony pouted and Gibbs sent him a look.

"Correct," Gibbs said.

"Well now that we have the order sorted out I have one last thing to ask from you… actually I'm telling you to do it," Dr Parkes corrected herself. "When you come in, bring in a song, any song, that you think, in your mind, relates to you in any way. Whether it be work related, mind related, life related, I don't mind. Just bring in a song and we'll take it from there. Don't bring a song, and there will be consequences," she half growled at Gibbs when she saw him look at her incredulously. "This is how I work, these are my orders."

Gibbs' glowered at her and stood up.

"Are we done here," it wasn't a question.

"Yes, you may leave," Dr Parkes replied and moved around to her seat. "My office is open from 8.30am. I will see you tomorrow Special Agent McGee," she nodded towards him, and sat down popping a jelly bean in her mouth, watching Gibbs' retreating back as they all filed out.

* * *

Holy-80's-team-comedy-plot, that was long o.O

Must be the zero sugar max tastedness.

Or **compensating **for the time it took me to update xD

_And so our hero's venture into unknown territory. Who knows what will be awaiting McGee when he brings in his song. Highly unusual. Hmm. Wonder what song young Timothy will even bring in ;)_

Until Later, over and out.

_**Clicky clicky you know you wanna xD**_


	3. I'm Shakin'

Sorry, again, for late updatesness :o I kinda got _distracted_ xD But I might as well warn you, while you and I are here and reading this:** there's not going to be an update for a couple of weeks possibly**. One because I'm going where there's no computer. Two because school starts again and I actually have to do stuff this year:( Stupid senior year.

But, for not only mine but for everyone's sakes, I _shall try_ and write not only 1… but 2 chapters if I have time xD. Not guaranteed but I shall try my best. Anywho you're here for the chapter ay? Here ya go.

* * *

Dr Parkes yawned as she straightened up her office. She took McGee to be the one who would make the most of the time given, so she was expecting him right on the dot of her open hours. So here she was, before 8.30am, making mental checklists in her head.

"_CD player, check. Stereo, check. Cassette player, check. TV with DVD player, check. Computer, check," _she thought and then narrowed her eyes at her computer, "You better work today," she warned it.

She wanted to be ready in all possible means. And that meant making sure she had the right equipment to hear McGee's chosen song. She hadn't asked what form it would come in so it was good to be prepared.

After double-checking everything she slumped in her squishy office chair and inhaled the coffee before her. "Why am I inhaling it, I'm meant to drink it?" she babbled to herself. Man, she wasn't a morning person. She took a gulp of her coffee and nearly spilt it all over her as the secretary buzzed her.

She swore as she mopped up the coffee that had sloshed dangerously close to her computer.

"Special Agent McGee is here to see you Dr Parkes," her secretary informed.

Dr Parkes glanced at her clock. 8.30. On the dot. She smiled.

"Send him in."

A moment later a tentative knock sounded on her door.

"You can come in Special Agent McGee," she sighed as she went to greet him.

He opened the door and poked his head in. "S-sorry if I'm too early Dr Parkes," he apologized, although relieved she was smiling.

"I open at 8.30, so as I said, anytime from then was fine," she assured him then led him to the sofa. "Did you bring your homework?" she grinned.

His brow furrowed as he dug in his jacket pocket. Then he pulled out a small USB cable and held it up.

"I er, took the song from my computer," he explained then looked around her office, his gaze stopping on her computer.

"Well let's hear it then, shall we?" he handed her the USB cable and sat down.

Dr Parkes went to her already on computer and inserted the USB. McGee watched her with interest as she clicked away, stopped to give the computer a sharp whack with her hand, before leaning under her desk.

"Uh, you right there?" McGee asked as he saw her disappear under her desk. He stood up and walked to her desk.

"I'm fine, stupid computer's acting up again," came her muffled response. Then there came a loud ding from her computer.

"Ha!" she proclaimed and peered at the computer. "I win, yet again. It never seems to accept the fact that I can fix it," she joked to McGee. She saw his inquiring expression. "It helps to have an MIT graduate in the family," she explained.

"Hey, I'm an MIT graduate!" McGee exclaimed. "What year- uh er, sorry, this isn't about you, this session's about me," he apologised yet again, although he felt slightly more upbeat in finding something similar with the psychologist.

"Of course," Dr Parkes was kinda annoyed of letting herself get off track. She looked back to the computer and saw McGee's song was up. "Lets get started then." And with another click, his song started to play. A rather alternative sounding song that she was sure she's heard somewhere, but wasn't played on the radios.

_I've forgotten what it feels like to feel normal_

_To be normal_

_And I've forgotten what food tastes like_

_The way it tastes right_

_The taste buds taste right_

_**Well, I wake up in so much spit and sweat**_

_It is not normal_

_What is normal?_

_Well, I go to bed_

_When I wake up_

_After cleaning all_

_All the spit and sweat_

_Now I'm, now _

_**I'm sh-sh-shakin', sh-shakin'** (x4)_

_Now_

_I tossed and turned all night_

_**'Cause I, 'cause I was looking for, for an ending**_

_This was so because, because I watched all day_

_The Neverending Story with Atreyu_

_The next day came but not a beam of light_

_Because the blinds were shut_

_**Sh-sh-sh-shut so tight**_

_Well, I fell out of bed laced in spit and sweat_

_**It made me very cold** (x2)_

_Now I'm, now_

_I'm sh-sh-shakin', sh-shakin' (x4)_

_**I'm sh-sh-shakin'**_

****

_**Well, I'm supposed to feel better**_

_**This nightmare's supposed to end**_

_**I am holdin' on** (x4)_

_I'm sh-sh-shakin', sh-shakin' (x4)_

_Now, yeah, now, yeah_

_**I'm shakin'** (x5)_

Dr Parkes had watched McGee the entire time the song was playing. And not once had he looked up. He had sat back down on the sofa, looking at his shoes and fiddling with his jacket cuffs. At the end of the song, his head rose enough for her to see his expression. And, surprisingly, he didn't look sad. He looked angry.

"Rooney. I'm Shakin," Dr Parkes voice cut through the silence the end of the song had brought. It was a simple enough statement that made McGee sit up straighter. His anger had faded and a curious look replaced it.

"Yeh, I'm a music buff. They were in an episode of the OC too if I remember right. Which could have possibly been where you got the song from," she smiled slyly at him.

"Don't tell Tony or-" he started but Dr Parkes interrupted him, holding up her hands.

"Patient confidentiality McGee. Nothing leaves this room. Not even to Tony," she assured him. She furrowed her brow. "Now, will you be telling me what this song means to you, or will I?" she asked him.

McGee seemed to ponder this, but after a moment he looked back down at his feet. Dr Parkes took it as a sign for her to talk.

"You're scared," she said, crossing her arms and leaning on her desk, hoping for a reaction. And she got it.

"I-I'm not scared!" he blurted, the angry look coming back.

"Yes, you are. And you are angry that you are scared," she replied softly.

McGee stared at her. Dr Parkes continued.

"It's expected, you know. To be scared. Anyone in your position would be scared. To have a member, or members, of your team targeted like that, and have them alive by a fluke. I'd refuse to come out of my room. But I'm a chicken. You're not," she uncrossed her arms and sat opposite him.

"When the bad guy isn't caught, there's always the risk he'll do it again. Right? You think '_What if he comes after me next?_' or '_He's still out there, he'll try and do it again for sure'_. From what I've read you've never had to experience anything like this before."

"Going back to the song… there are probably similarities in your actions and the lyrics, yeh? You aren't normal anymore. You're not a civilian. You're out there everyday risking your life. And after this you could be doubting yourself as an agent," she paused, "… I know you had a gun put to your head that day."

McGee looked shocked. "W-What? No I didn't, how did you, I mean, uh why do you say that?"

"I have my ways Special Agent. Now why wasn't that detail in the report McGee?" she asked.

McGee knew he couldn't squirm out of this interrogation. He put his head in his hands, " Idinnot wannto mmkafuss," he mumbled.

Dr Parkes moved his hands away. "What?"

He sighed. "I didn't want to make a fuss. There were more serious things going on. And its not like I got hurt!"

Dr Parkes stared at him incredulously. "You should have made a fuss! You could have been seriously hurt if the gunman wasn't distracted by Ari! Next time you see Gibbs you are confessing to this straight away… although he probably already knows… but McGee! Seriously! Just by keeping that little detail to yourself has added extra weight to your conscience."

"You are a good agent. Special Agent Gibbs wouldn't have taken you on if you weren't. And you know that. McGee, as sappy as it sounds, you need to believe in yourself more." She stood up and looked at the clock. "Wow, time flies huh?" It was now 12:53pm.

She strode over to her desk and pulled something out of her drawer. "Here," she threw it to McGee, who caught it clumsily.

"A chocolate bar?" he asked.

Dr Parkes shrugged. "It helps." She walked him to the door.

"Now some last words of wisdom, Special Agent McGee. Tell Gibbs, don't you daredoubt yourself, stand up to Tony once in a while, tell the others that if they don't bring in their music I will kill them personally, and spread the word that I give out chocolate," she grinned at him and he looked at her strangely,before slowly turning away.

"Oh, and you're sane McGee!" she called after him cheerfully.

One down, five to go.

* * *

_And so young Timothy is left pondering her words of wisdom. What is in store for Abigail? Will she surprise us all with her song selection?_

Shah. I kinda stumbled through her evaluation and I'm sure I missed something along the way, but oh well, I'm not a psychiatrist. I might get better as I go along. Heheh, notice the OC reference? Dammit, I still gotta find a suitable song for Abby and Ducky. Ah well, til next time. I apologise for the late updates to come.

_**Over&Out R&R? xD**_


	4. Barbie Girl

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sooo sorry for taking like what, **2 months** to update? I seriously didn't intend for it to be this late, but _school_ caught up with me, as did _other_ things, and its only now, when I notice I have nothing due until another 2 weeks, that I thought "**Hey I have to write!**" And so be it. To try and compensate, I'm halfway through the next chapter on SwaB, and I have a oneshot in mind that I will be posting shortly after. So will you forgive me:)

Onwards, and look at the **longness** xD

* * *

"Afternoon Lulu," Dr Parkes greeted her secretary as she gulped down herfourth cup of coffee.

"Er, afternoon Dr Parkes," Lulu welcomed her warily. "You do realise what time it is, don't you?"

"2:45, Tuesday afternoon I believe, why?" she replied casually.

"Well your office hours are only until 3:30 aren't they? And it's quarter tothree and your NCIS member hasn't shown up yet and how are you meant to assess her when your only open for three quarters of an hour and…"

"Lulu. Lulu. Lulu!" Dr Parkes tried to interrupt her babbling secretary, as Lulu listed many possible reasons as why her late arrival wasn't good. "I know it's late. But from the impression that Ms Sciuto gave me, I'm not going to be expecting her until after 3 o'clock and won't need that long. Trust me, it's all good," Dr Parkes reassured her secretary.

Lulu couldn't argue with her, after all, she was the psychiatrist. Dr Parkes smiled as she downed the littledroplets of coffee left in her cup.

"Could you refill this?" she handed over the empty Styrofoam cup. "Thanks!" she thanked Lulu a little too eagerly.

Lulu just shook her head as she watched the buzzing secretary enter her office.

**x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.**

Fingering her sixth coffee while waiting for 3 o'clock to roll round, the psychiatrist pondered what song Abby would bring in.

"Hmm… she seems the rock/heavy metal type…" she mused, "Maybe some old Ozzy Osbourne or Judas Priest?" **(AN**_I just did an assignment onstuff do dowith the devils musicand they were some artists used xD. So if they don't match, meh_.

3:08 and Dr Parkes was balancing her pen on her nose when a sharp secretarial buzz startled her out of her caffeine-induced loop. The pen clattered to the table as Dr Parkes stood up abruptly, smoothing her clothes.

Abby bounced in, twirling a CD around her pinky, a beam on her face.

"Hiya Doc," she tossed Dr Parkes the CD, which she caught clumsily, and sat down on one of the couches. "Brought my homework. McGee gave us the message, actually thought that you'd kill us, poor thing," she grinned, "Tony gave him hell for that, seemed to think that someone like you couldn't handle hurting one of us."

"Oh really now? And what about you?" Dr Parkes asked, arching an eyebrow.

"I know better," she tapped her nose.

"Got that right," Dr Parkes smirked. "So before we listen to this," she held up the CD, "anything you want to bring up? Or should we just get this over with?"

"I think the song explains it all,' Abby replied somewhat smugly.

Given the impression that Abby thought that she wouldn't get her music, Dr Parkes smiled discretely as she popped the CD into the CD Player. Abby's music wouldn't surprise her one bit.

Then the song started and Dr Parkes' jaw dropped.

"Oh good God."

_Hiya, Barbie!_

_- Hi, Ken!_

_- You wanna go for a ride?_

_- Sure, Ken!_

_- Jump in!_

_**(CHORUS:)**_

_I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world_

_life in plastic, it's fantastic_

_You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere_

_Imagination, life is your creation_

_Come on Barbie, let's go party!_

_**(CHORUS)**_

_I'm a blond bimbo girl in a fantasy world_

_Dress me up, make me talk, I'm your dollie_

_(ken)_

_You're my doll, rock'n'roll, feel the glamour and pain_

_Kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky_

_You can touch, you can play_

_if you say I'm always yours, oohoh_

_**(CHORUS)**_

_**(BRIDGE:)**_

_Come on Barbie, let's go party!_

_Ah ah ah yeah_

_Come on Barbie, let's go party!_

_Ooh woa, ooh woa_

_Come on Barbie, let's go party!_

_Ah ah ah yeah_

_Come on Barbie, let's go party!_

_Ooh woa, ooh woa_

_Make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please_

_I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees_

_Come jump in, be my friend, let us do it again_

_Hit the town, fool around, let's go party_

_You can touch, you can play_

_if you can sayI'm always yours_

_You can touch, you can play_

_if you can sayI'm always yours_

_**(BRIDGE)**_

_**(CHORUS x2)**_

_**(BRIDGE)**_

_- Oh, I'm having so much fun!_

_- Well Barbie, we're just gettin' started_

_Oh, I love you Ken!_

Abby had an evil glint in her eye as she watched Dr Parkes prod the "stop button" repeatedlyand automatically reach for her coffee. Excellent.

Dr Parkes shut her eyes, sculled the coffee and pressed her fingers to her temples.

"Any psychiatrist in their right mind would declare you insane right now," she exclaimed, breaking the silence. She looked up at Abby, "But I'm scared."

"Weren't expecting that now, were ya Doc?" Abby replied gleefully.

"That's an understatement of the century. What possessed you to choose Aqua's Barbie Girl!" she asked desperately.

"Well it's what's in my head."

"It's in mine now, too," Dr Parkes muttered under her breath, the song doing circuits in her head.

Dr Parkes glared at her, "So this is what's in your head? You're not just trying to mess with me and my assessment of you, so you chose a completely random song?"

"I'm serious. It's in my head. Actually my 9 year old neighbour put it in there but the song has a point. Ever since the shooting the whole teams been treated like barbies, and objects of the media, because some idiot of an agent who saw the report blabbed everything that happened to a local news team. It's ridiculous!" she exclaimed.

"And for what? Some extra cash. Damn media. NCIS never used to be on the TV, but now it's a topic everyday! What we do is now scrutinized and elaborated on. Y'know their actually thinking of making an NCIS drama TV show based on what we do? Its crazy! Honest to God, if Gibbs doesn't kill Ari first, I'm gonna kill him myself. It's all his fault!"

"Now,all of us havebeen given super-hero status basically. Even Ari!But hey, at least the public are aware of what he's capable of," Abby added sarcastically.

"Surely you've watched the TV and seen what I'm talking about!" she turned to Dr Parkes for her input.

Dr Parkes ducked her head. Mostly Abby was telling the truth of what the media had done to their team.

"So all that, and the fact that yourDirector has you on a tighter lead, controlling your movements, makes you connect to Barbie Girl?" Dr Parkes summarised for her.

Abby nodded eagerly. "Pretty much yeh."

Dr Parkes scribbled in her book that she had retrieved from her drawer. "So you're not really affected by what happened to Agent Todd and the others?"

Abby shrugged. "Not so much. Kate's alive and Gibbs is gonna hunt and kill that son of a bitch. No problems there."

Smiling, Dr Parkes finished her writing in her book then looked up at Abby, "That's you done then," she glanced at the clock, "And what timing." It was 3:25.

Walking over to the door, she expected to see Abby right behind her. But Abby was still standing over near the couch. Looking at her quizzically, Abby walked casually to where Dr Parkes was standing.

"I was informed that chocolate was involved, and apparently words of wisdom. Where's mine," she asked.

Dr Parkes grinned and walked back over to her desk. She pulled out a chocolate bar from her drawer and fetched the empty Styrofoam cup.

"Chocolate," she handed it to Abby, "And wisdom," she handed the cup over as well.

Abby looked at her, perplexed as to why she was given a Styrofoam cup.

"Can you ask Lulu to refill this again? There's no such thing as too much caffine."

And she smiled as Abby nodded knowingly.

* * *

_And Abigail hands part of her wisdom to the secretary, intending on purchasing a Caff-Pow as soon as she's out of the building. What knowledge will gentlemanly Ducky hand to our psychiatrist? Who knows. Maybe information on the formation of mangroves._

Taaadaaaa.

And so much better than writing my stupid unglish assignment. Ick.

Im still pretty much bs'ing my way through the psychological stuff.

Hopeing it wasn't too shabby for the liking.

Now onto Duckmans.

And I'm off.

**R&R**

**Kthnxbai xD**


	5. Ducky

Sorry Sorry Sorry.

There are excuses but who cares. Sorry. Also, this chapter has a lot of _irrelevance _to it. You have been warned.

* * *

A punk haired youth glanced admiringly at the lady rummaging in her car before him. Not at all surreptitiously, he ran his hands through his already meticulously spiked hair and leant casually against the building wall. As the lady straightened up, it was only then that he realised she was holding a strange looking contraption that he vaguely remembered seeing somewhere.

The lady caught him gazing at her and smiled sweetly at him, sarcasm lacing her words. "Gramophone, kid," she widened her eyes, "You haven't heard? They are soo in right now," she ended almost Paris Hilton-esque.**(AN sorry, i couldnt help it.)  
**

The kid raised a studded eyebrow in disgust. Dr Parkes smirked to herself. She turned away from him and lugged the gramophone up the steps, muttering to herself but still in earshot of the guy.

"My grandma's more punk than you."

.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

Upon entering her waiting room, Lulu looked at the gramophone and Dr Parkes dubiously. Dr Parkes shrugged.

"Dr Mallards turn," she said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Lulu looked at her even more doubtfully.

"How do you know he's going to bring in a vinyl?" Lulu questioned.

Dr Parkes tapped her nose knowingly.

"Trust me," she grinned and took her coffee and made her way into her office.

.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

Sitting the gramophone on her desk, Dr Parkes looked at the CD player next to it and realized Abby's CD was still hiding in it.

Treating it as if it was a contaminated object, she gingerly ejected it and took it out, scrunching up her nose.

"Must. Be. Burned," she muttered to herself and placed it on the edge of her desk, where it wobbled precariously.

She shook her head and turned her attention back to the gramophone before her. She wasn't exactly sure of how it worked, but she guessed Dr Mallard would teach her today. Leaning towards the large funnel opening, where she assumed the noise came out, she noticed a fine layer of dust coving it, aside from her scattering of fingerprints. Without thinking, she blew away the dust. Only for it to be blown back on to her face.

She sneezed.

_Smart._

She sneezed again.

"Woops, she watched the floating dust particles filter through the sunlight with a vague interest.

All of a sudden she let out a long string of both real and made up curses as that annoyance of the secretarial buzz sounded.

"Hello," came the pleasant reply, and Dr Parked spun around sheepishly.

Taking a well rehearsed moment to collect herself, she greeted the next NCIS member in line.

"Dr Mallard, hi," she hoped her face wasn't as red as it felt.

"I hope I didn't startle you," he joked and took off his hat, "I daresay I must have been the cause of that rather intriguing outburst of yours."

Dr Parkes inwardly groaned at her lack of professionalism.

"I'm sorry, its just that buzzer, Lulu barely uses it and when she does it just catches me entirely off guard," she apologised.

"No no dear," he waved it off and placed his hat, along with a circular object, on top of the CD player. "I believe I may have scared your secretary as well. She seemed under the impression that we have some sort of mental connection, of some sort, after she saw my old vinyl here," he motioned to the circular object fondly and then looked back at her, a twinkle in his eyes.

"She saw me come in with the gramophone. I guess I told her too little about why it was needed," she snorted. "Thankyou for the warning that we'd be needing it today though."

"Well I just as assumed that you wouldn't be having a gramophone sitting around here," he smiled.

Dr Parkes nodded in appreciation and leaned over to pick up the vinyl. She turned it in her hands curiously.

"You know," Ducky started, "I wouldn't expect you to know how to operate one of these. Excuse me for saying this, but I wasn't even sure if you would have remembered it was called a gramophone. They're hardly promoted now are they." He chuckled at the grateful and then curious look on Dr Parkes face.

"Dr Mallard, I'm not that young, I do realize a gramophone when I see one."

"26," he calmly stated, not asked.

"How…?"

"My dear, after many years in my profession, I have spent long enough with many people at different ages, alive and dead, to accurately know an individuals age. It is all this plastic surgery that baffles me, why they do it… you know it is rather like an old Aztec tradition, where they…" he trailed off, still looking deep in thought. "But I'll tell you that tale another day shall I?" He winked.

"If you don't mind," Dr Parkes said. "We might get this started then, shall we? Do you…" she gestured towards the gramophone and Ducky took the vinyl from her hands.

Expertly, he placed it onto the gramophone and twiddled some knobs and positioned the needle.

"Please, take a seat Dr Mallard, and we'll have a listen," Dr Parkes politely instructed as a scratchy noise sung out from the gramophone.

She tried to focus on the song, curious as to what he picked. A wry smile crossed her face.

Ducky smiled as he watched the young psychiatrist's face. The muffled tune of an old opera song played through the offices and Ducky closed his eyes contently, listening to his favourite song. The emotion in the song was obvious, where the dynamics coincided with the rhythm and the mood of the song changed to match. It was actually quite a long song but after a while it came to a dramatic close.

He opened his eyes to see Dr Parkes with a thoughtful look on her face as she looked back at him.

"You know, I wasn't expecting you to bring in any Michael Jackson, but this is another thing," she grinned. "I mightn't need the title or the artist or even the words of the song to help me."

Ducky leaned back, "Assess away then, my dear."

"Would I be right in assuming that that song is how you feel about the recent situation?" At his nod she continued. "The peaceful beginning… it's an odd way to describe it, but that's what it was, peaceful, before the Ari business. The team doing their everyday job. The jumps in dynamics as relationships became darker, deeper. I mean, Agent Dinozzo getting the plague was one thing, but then after that, the fact that Ari directly targeted the team, after one attempt? Agent Gibbs could hardly just forget about him. And then, when the attempt on Agent Todd's life came into play, their job became much less peaceful. Everywhere they go there's a more noticeable threat. They've come close to losing one member, they don't what to know what will happen if that actually happens. So there's more precautions, like that slower, softer part in your song…" she trailed off and Ducky looked at her curiously. "You know… one way to describe how you feel, I could be way off base here, but it's like a TV drama. And you're the narrator." She saw the confusion in Ducky's eyes.

"You know everything that's happening with them. The relationships, the emotions, everything. You're there for them, but rarely show your… your…" she struggled to find a word.

"My side?" he asked gently.

She looked at him. "Pretty much, yes."

"My dear it is what I do. They come to me, wise old Dr Mallard. I have no conflict with that I enjoy it actually. For such a vigorous group of people, to come to me in such high regard… it lifts me. I enjoy how I can almost document their life and see them grow. I have my pride of them and my concerns. Especially Jethro now. He now only has one thing on his mind and it is most definitely not pie," he explained.

"You have more going on than people know, Dr Mallard," she said softly.

"And I'm not one to disagree with that," he smiled.

Dr Parkes returned the smile, and then a guilty thought crossed her mind. "Dr Mallard… this might seem like I'm cheating… but you know so much about what's happening with your team… and with the next three to most likely be the hardest… do you mind if I asked you one question, about all of them?" she inquired.

"An excellent idea, Dr Parkes. Although I must say I'm curious as to what is about to come in Caitlin, Anthony and Jethro," he stated pensively.

"McGee, do you think he'll cope?"

"Undoubtedly. Timothy is much stronger than we give him credit for."

Ok… Abby," she grinned, "Well I'm not sure what to ask about her. She wouldn't ease up on the caffeine would she?" she asked dryly.

"Never."

"Agent Todd… she's affected in more than one way in what happened?" she mused.

"More than she'll let on."

"DiNozzo. His relationship with-" Ducky cut her off with a smile.

"Ying and Yang dear."

"And Gibbs." She paused, "What should I expect?"

"Anything."

Dr Parkes contemplated those answers and smiled softly at him. "Thankyou Dr Mallard."

Ducky retrieved his vinyl and hat and looked oddly at the CD perched on the desk, then grinned.

"I take it Abby's, er, homework didn't meet your tastes," he chuckled and picked it up.

Dr Parkes grimaced. "Please give it back to Abby. Or far away from here."

As they walked to her door, Ducky pocketed the CD, thinking of listening to it in Abby's lab.

Dr Parkes stopped him.

"I forgot to ask a question about you…" she said and went on at his smile. "Have you ever considered the path of psychology instead of where you are now?"

He winked, " Oh no dear. The human mind is much to gory for me." He shook her hand. "Good luck," he said and walked out of her office.

Dr Parkes shook her head. She'd need it.

* * *

_And so Dr Mallard leaves the office, without his chocolate, because he believes that it gums up your insides, and without his wisdom, because he is, afterall, Ducky. What will Caitlin hide in the next chapter? Not even i know._

Not one of my favourites but oh well. I was feeling random when i put in the pie bit. Also im just trying to ease in more details about the shrink, so thats where a heap of the irrelevant parts came in.

Hopefully Kate's chapter wont take as long to do, but i wont make any promises.

Again sorry.

**R&R appreciated xD **


	6. Headlights on Dark Roads

Gasp, what is this? An update?! Surely not. But yes, ladies and gentlemen, it is. I got cracking. Woopdie-doo. Sorry.

Still don't own anything. If I was anything to do with the show I would have been sacked long ago.

* * *

Emerald eyes that glistened with jade in the right light slowly met those of icy crystalline blue that sparked with life and mystery.

He smiled and cupped her soft cheek in his rough yet smooth hands.

The music swelled.

"Thankyou Doctor Parkes," he said graciously, emotion finally breaking through his thick hide, "You have healed me."

He leaned towards her.

All of a sudden, strange thoughts entered the mind of Dr Parkes.

"First off, who would have green _AND_ purple eyes? Second, hands that are rough but smooth? What the hell? And Gibbs? This is Gibbs! What the hell?" she thought wildly.

She shrieked at the proximity of Gibbs. This broke the atmosphere into pieces. The mist that had swirled around their feet disappeared in a _poof_, the music screeched to a halt and Dr Parkes pushed him away.

"Gibbs!" she yelped indignantly

**x.x.x.x.x.**

The moment the words "Gibbs" left her mouth, Dr Parkes eyes flew open and she jumped awake. She felt dizzy from the blood rush to her head. Then she noticed Special Agent Todd standing in her doorway.

"You dream about Gibbs too, huh?" she asked, a curious look on her face. "Uh you have…" Kate pointed to the side of Dr Parkes head.

Dr Parkes hand flew to the side of her face and removed a piece of paper stuck to her face. She grimaced and sighed, " I see Lulu decided not to use the buzzer this time? Figures," she motioned for Kate to come further in.

She walked in and looked around. Sitting down on the couch Kate informed her, "She said something about not wanting to make you spill your coffee."

Glancing at the empty coffee cup, Dr Parkes shuddered and swiped it into the bin beside her desk. Evil thing. Making her dream about Gibbs like that. What has the world come to?

Kate looked at her strangely and Dr Parkes subtly rubbed her face again.

"You're not a… no offence or anything, but you seem kind of… non-conventional," Kate carefully chose her words.

"It is how I work," Dr Parkes said brusquely, "I could be more Gibbs like if that is what you would like."

Kate held up her hands… well, hand, "No, no, it's fine, it's just… different."

As Dr Parkes looked at the special agent in front of her, something struck her as different.

"You're not wearing your sling," she exclaimed and frowned thoughtfully.

Kate attempted to hide a look of guilt.

"This only happened a few weeks ago though," Dr Parkes pondered out loud, "Surely your shoulder isn't mended."

Kate rubbed her arm uneasily, keeping her hand on her injured shoulder protectively.

"It just gets in the way," she saw the look Dr Parkes gave her when she said that. "No, I mean it. Really, it is fine," she protested.

Scowling, Dr Parkes shook her head, "I'm the one with a degree remotely close to medicine, and so while you are in my office, Special Agent Todd, your arm will be in that sling."

Kate sighed, "Fine," she rummaged in her bag with her left hand and took out the offending garment. She carefully slipped it over her right arm and winced as her injured shoulder protested. But once it was on, Kate gave Dr Parkes a look.

"There."

"Thankyou… I bet I'm not the only one that's told you to do that," she predicted.

Kate sat down. "Well Gibbs has accepted it… mostly… and the other's…"

"Well," Dr Parkes moved on, "did you bring your homework?"

Kate nodded in relief and took out a CD from her bag.

"Track 8," she told Dr Parkes, a tad cautiously as she handed it to the psychiatrist.

Looking at the CD, Dr Parkes noticed a price sticker still on it.

"I hope this wasn't a present" she commented.

Rolling her eyes, Kate nodded, "Yeh, the moron, that he is, forgot to take it off."

Dr Parkes didn't miss the underlying fondness. "Who bought it for you?" she asked curiously.

"Tony," Kate mumbled, but audible enough for Dr Parkes to hear it.

"Fair enough," Dr Parkes again moved on and inserted the CD, "Let's hear it then."

_For once I want to be the car crash _

_Not always just the traffic jam _

_Hit me hard enough to wake me _

_And lead me wild to your dark roads _

_Headlights before me _

_So beautiful so clear _

_Reach out and take it _

_Cause I'm so tired of all this fear _

_My tongue is lost so I can't tell you _

_Please just see it in my eyes _

_I'll pull the thorns from our ripped bodies _

_And let the blood fall in my mouth _

_Headlights before me _

_So beautiful so clear _

_Reach out and take it _

_Cause I'm so tired of all this fear_

"Uh, I'm sorry if it doesn't all account to all of what's in my head, its just some of the words that describe, well, what's in my head," Kate stumbled through her words.

"There's nothing wrong with having people concerned about you," Dr Parkes listened but didn't reply to her directly as she wrote something in her notepad.

Kate looked torn between exasperation and defeat. She shrugged. "I just… I can take care of things myself. I like knowing what I'm doing," she mumbled.

"You know it doesn't always have to be that way, "Dr Parkes told her, "After what you've been through it would be crazy not to be concerned for you."

"But that's the thing," Kate threw her hand up in the air, "It's my job. My _job_. I put myself in danger everyday; I knew what the job description entailed when I signed on. And it's just so… I don't know how I feel now. Now that it's actually happened. I can't sleep. I can't eat. And if I do sleep, I soon wake up because they are all nightmares. Of him."

Dr Parkes frowned thoughtfully at Kate showing her emotions and wrote some more in her notepad before looking up at Kate again as she continued.

"Ari, the bastard, of course. He nearly killed me. Nearly being the key word here. He didn't not target me. He didn't fatally, permanently injure me. I don't know why I am, or everyone else is, getting worked up by this. It's like a hitch in the operation. It should carry on. Why nearly kill me? I don't know if I should be extremely thankful to Tony for pretty much saving my life, which of course I am eternally, or really pissed off and scared that I have these memories and issues I have to deal with now. He targeted me! Me?! Why, sure he could have killed me in autopsy that time, and the kidnapping scenario, but he could have just chosen to keep aiming for Gibbs. Not that I want Gibbs to be assassinated or anything, its just that it's Gibbs and Ari, Ari and Gibbs, not Ari and Caitlin Todd. Why me?"

Dr Parkes wished she would of used a tape recorder instead of writing various, numerous notes on Kate's obviously pent up, kind of tangled spiel.

"I am starting to feel better physically and, uh, Tony's been helping me mentally through this, along with everyone else of course," Kate faltered through, "But I just don't… I don't like being confused. Or scared. Or not knowing things. I'm all jumbled up inside and I'm not used to it, nor do I like it. I hate feeling like this," Kate said firmly.

She rubbed her shoulder self-consciously and looked at Dr Parkes. "Uh, I'm sorry, I'm not usually like this," she looked at her feet.

"Special Agent Todd… Kate… it _is_ alright, you know. This is the point of these sessions. You need to talk to someone other than Abby or Special Agent DiNozzo… you just can't lock up these feelings inside. Any sane person would explode."

Kate opened her mouth to speak but Dr Parkes decided to interrupt her.

"No, now I know you might be used to keeping things inside, but it's not healthy for you. You need to eat. And sleep. I'm sorry to say, but yes it was a traumatic experience and it might be a while until your nightmares go away, if ever. But if lack of sleep interferes with your life, you might want to try sleeping tablets, aromatherapy, anything, to try and sleep soundly," Dr Parkes suggested.

Kate sighed again and looked at Dr Parkes thoughtfully, "For an unconventional psychiatrist you are alright."

"Why thankyou," Dr Parkes smiled and bowed her head. Noticing the time on her watch she glanced back up at Kate. "Ugh, sorry but we have nearly ran out of time," she stood up and got Kate's CD.

Handing it to her, Kate inquired, "We didn't really interpret the song as much as you did with the others."

"Yes we did. Well not all of it, I kind of get the gist, Snow Patrol's a good like that, but all I needed from you was for you to talk."

Kate smiled ruefully, "That I did," she stood up.

"Besides, it's a nice song, band, present," Dr Parkes snuck a glance at Kate who smiled discreetly.

Shaking hands, Dr Parkes looked at her and gave her some last advice.

"People care about you. That's why you were targeted most likely. Sad but true. You're one of the closest people to Special Agent Gibbs and Ari knew that. You are like a granddaughter, daughter, sister, friend… or more… and your team seems like one big family. Kind of dysfunctional, but a family. And this vendetta Gibbs and Ari have with each other just had to hit someone where it hurt. That's how it works.

Kate groaned, "Maybe I should be more of a bitch so no one cares about me."

"Then that would be missing out on life," Dr Parkes handed her a chocolate from her table.

Smiling, still albeit sadly, Kate put it in her pocket. "Thanks," she said, "For everything."

"It's what we're all here for," Dr Parkes reassured her.

As Kate walked towards the door Dr Parkes added, "If you need to talk more… like this… just arrange and appointment when you go past Lulu. Please."

Kate nodded silently and walked out.

* * *

Oh knows, i'm losing the voice of Kate. Deary me. Ah well, it was bound to happen. I shall try my darndest.

Still kinda random in there and for that i am sorry. I just had to try and do something "mary-sueish" at the beginning xD

Hopefully will update Tony's within a year.


	7. Foxtrot Uniform Char

I actually, seriously, really really really didn't intend of having to post this chapter, literally, in the next year of my last update. I could write another whole chapter of excuses, but of course, that would take another six months to write xD

Nothings changed since last time, own nothing.

Dedicated to **CSIMel **as a late birthday present P Lookie!

* * *

"You're late," Dr Parkes scowled and closed the door forcefully.

"According to my watch there is still at least…." Tony checked his watch, "10 minutes left in your schedule." He plonked down on the couch and propped his feet up on the coffee table in front of it. "And in your own words, aaanytime until then," he informed her triumphantly.

"Special Agent DiNozzo, believe it or not, but I'm not going to take your complete this blatant lack of disregard for me. I don't know what you may have been told by your peers, but this is _MY _office and you are to treat me like a human being and your psychiatrist, the one in charge of stamping a big red _SANE _on your record," she snapped at him and dropped the file next to his feet on the table.

"Someone's sure Little Miss Sunshine today," Tony muttered under his breath and eyed her warily.

"Waiting six hours straight by a possible mentally unstable NCIS agent can do that do you," she pushed his feet of the table irritably, "And having the coffee machine break down on you, as well as being given a disgusting De-Caff instead of a normal coffee at the stupid Starbucks doesn't help much either."

Dr Parkes took a deep breath, "Look, you play nice, I play nice. God, I was sure it was going to be Gibbs giving me attitude."

"I haven't done anyth-!" Tony cut off his own sentence and held up his hands in defence. "Anyway, it wont be attitude, just a few million death stares from Gibbs," he tapped his chin, "I'm thinking he's not going to be doing any slapping… Besides, there's nothing wrong if I had attitude like Gibbs, if I were to have an attitude like him, not that I'm saying I do…"

"Slapping?" Dr Parkes asked him first, her mind forming strange catfights going on in the NCIS precinct.

"Nah, not like violent, slappy slapping, more of a, er, encouraging tap up the head…"

She raised her eyebrows.

He shrugged.

She moved on, "I suppose it's not bad to have similarities with your boss, but please, don't become him. One Gibbs seems enough for the world," Dr Parkes sighed, forming a thought in her head. "You respect him that much you've taken after him in some aspects?"

"Me? No way. 100 per cent Tony DiNozzo, right here," he answered quickly and leant back in the couch, staring at her in challenge.

She didn't buy it and rolled her eyes.

"If that's what you tell yourself to get you through the day."

Tony jiggled his leg impatiently and rolled his shoulder.

"Ok then," Dr Parkes, who had been leaning against her desk, sat down in the chair on the other side of the coffee table. "Homework?" She held out her hand expectantly.

"Oh yeh," he stood up and searched his back pockets, then side pockets, then after some thought, patted down his shirt and pulled out a cassette from that pocket.

He tossed it to her and sat back down.

Catching it, she turned it over in her hands. "Thankyou. You taped the song or something?"

"Uh yeh. I maybe, kinda, possibly, got reminded of it this morning," he admitted it a tad sheepishly. "So I grabbed a blank tape and surfed through the radio stations. Tadaaa."

She fought the urge to roll her eyes again, "It better be what I asked for."

Tony beamed, "But of course."

She inserted the cassette in the tape player and pressed play. She actually groaned out loud, a common action that week, when she heard the opening riffs. Trouble was, she couldn't remember exactly which song it was. Until…

_Vulcanize the whoopee stick_

_In the ham wallet_

_Cattle prod the oyster ditch_

_With the-_

She stopped the song in its tracks and turned the volume right down, just to be sure. "Jesus, DiNozzo, you know this isn't what I meant! Surely you- gah!" she buried her face in her hands.

Disappointed that the song had stopped before the good parts but amused nonetheless, Tony chuckled and exclaimed, "That was a good Kate impression!"

She lifted her head and gave him a look. "Glad I could be of service," she told him sarcastically.

Tony held up his hands again, "Hey, you wanted to know, and it's a known fact that sex is on a guys mind!"

"And here I was thinking that was a stereotype," she retorted.

Besides, I had so many choices, so many just swimming around in my head… _I'm bringing sexy baaack, yep_," he started singing and grooving in his seat.

Dr Parkes shook her head in frustration. "I didn't want to know what's in your head all the time, I wanted to know what these recent circumstances had done to you and relate them to some lyrics of a song!" she exclaimed. "I realise that yes, you do think of sex, but surely somewhere in the back of that apparently dirty mind of yours, you have feelings on the fact that Agent Todd, maybe even you, nearly died! I'm also not naïve, I can see you and Todd have a relationship of sorts-"

"Hey like I said, I could have brought something much stupider and worse than this. And you wanted me to get all mushy? I don't do mushy; I'm a federal agent! Then you expected me to bring in some sort of whiny Simple Plan crap?" he bent forward with a determined glint to his eye that caused Dr Parkes to lean back, her elbow accidentally nudging the play button of the abandoned cassette player.

"I'm not like that. I can get over things. There would be absolutely no need for me to become all repressed and angst ridden because I-she- people are still alive!" He ran his hands through his hair. "I'm normal, everything's normal."

Dr Parkes stared at him, her pen having been scrawling various notes in her book. Then she heard a noise. A buzzing, static type noise. She turned slightly and saw the tape playing on mute.

"Oh," she said softly, "Your, er, tape's been playing…" She turned the volume dial up, "Hopefully the agony is over…"

Tony stood abruptly and leant over the coffee table to her, covering his hand with hers on the dial.

"No, no, no need. I mean it's over for sure, only a couple minutes long, now it's just a blank tape left, unless I accidentally taped whatever song was next, not on purpose, I can't remember…" Tony rambled, his grip tightening.

With her other hand, Dr Parkes grabbed the remote control for the player and looked him in the eye. "Well lets find out then," she told him and managed to turn the volume up using the remote.

"Handy," Tony mumbled and quickly released her hand, plopping back down on the couch.

Looking at him curiously, Dr Parkes could hear the strains of an acoustic, ballad type song…

_I dug you up this morning_

_and took you home,_

_to have you here beside me,_

_cold but close._

_I made my mind up last night,_

_that heaven just can't have you._

_I made you breakfast but you would not eat,_

_so I took your black dress off and washed you clean._

_I made mind up last night that heaven just can' have you._

_The sheets are creased_

_from your last day,_

_a silhouette of where you lay._

_They'll find your headstone in the yard,_

_with your black dress and my guitar._

_I'll carry you back to your grave_

_where you and I will always stay._

_Close the casket it gets dark;_

_they'll find us in each other's arms…._

The song ended. Her office was filled with an eerie silence, except for the now blank tape clicking through the rest of the reel.

She looked at him and was met with his gaze.

"You want to tell me what that was about?" she broke the silence.

He shrugged casually, "What can I say, I like guitars. I like this song, catchy. Trying to learn how to play it myself, it helps with the ladies," he smirked and started to play the air guitar.

"Yes, because playing a song about never letting go of your love one even in death is a sure-fire way to get the ladies, real quick, I bet," Dr Parkes said.

Tony's face clouded over. "Look, I didn't mean to tape that song, it just happened to be after that other song, remember, sex sex sex, that's me," he told her.

"So if I rewound the tape and played it through, flipped it over and played it through also, I'd find some more songs that happen to be after that second, accident, song?"

Tony folded his arms and glared at her.

"Come on Tony, you thought that the tape would magically stop after that one song? You wanted me to hear that song," she told him, scribbling some more in her clipboard.

"And aren't you a right little Sherlock Holmes," Tony nearly yelled at her.

"Special Agen-"

"Cut the crap Parkes," Tony was well and truly over it all.

They stared at each other.

Again through the silence, Dr Parkes scowled, scribbled some more and looked at the clock.

"Look, you've already pretty much wasted my time and I don't get paid for overtime," she pointed out and stood up. "If you've got nothing else to say then you might as well leave and get on with your life."

Tony continued glaring at her. Dr Parkes turned around and started gathering her things.

"She didn't die," she eventually heard the reluctant voice behind her.

"I realize this," she didn't turn around, knowing immediately whom he was talking about.

"Yeh but you don't get it, no one would, it's not about the sex this time."

Dr Parkes turned and lifted her eyebrow.

"Ok, so the sex is good too," Tony admitted, "But I'm not with her to get lucky. She makes me lucky. If I had lost her that day…" Tony shuddered. "That song. I'd be like that if she had died. But she didn't. So I don't need to feel like that. Everything is fine. I don't need to breakdown over what didn't happen," Tony told her forcefully.

They looked at each other some more.

"Ok," Dr Parkes said and continued packing.

Tony stared at her, "Ok?" he stood up. "I pretty much say what you wanted to hear and all I get is an ok?" He walked around to her.

Dr Parkes stopped putting her things in her bag.

"What, you want to be shrinked some more?" she asked him. "Want me to say, hmmm yes, and how do you feel about that?"

"Isn't that what you're meant to do?" Tony questioned her suspiciously.

"Well, yes in theory, but," she told him, "I get it. You're in love with her. You risked your life for her. You'd be pretty shaken up if you lost her. You've admitted all this. That was all I wanted."

She grabbed her bag and started walking towards the door. Tony quickly grabbed his coat and ejected his tape to follow her.

"Uh…thanks?" he said, confused.

Dr Parkes nodded and walked him through the lobby past reception.

"One other thing," Tony stopped her. "Don't tell Gibbs."

"Tell Gibbs what?"

"Tell him that Kate and I are-"

"He knows."

"Tony scoffed, "No he doesn't, Kate and I have been real good with- god he knows."

Dr Parkes patted him on the shoulder. "And once he knows that you know that he knows… well that wont be too far away. I'd look out if I were you."

Tony covered his face with his hands, "He knows."

She pushed him towards the door. "Now Tony, one more thing I'm pretty much obliged to tell you. Stop being such an ass. Stop flirting with everything that has a pulse and a skirt. Surely it's bound to piss Kate off daily."

"Oh it does," Tony agreed and winked, "But everyone knows, angry sex is the bes-"

"Too much information," Dr Parkes pushed him out the door.

* * *

Don't expect Gibbs anytime soon haha sorry.

Also, apologies if anything seems AU or OOC, but meh, my story.

On the other hand, i've written kinda of an additional, behind the scenes oneshot on Kate And Tony's relationship. It's written on around a dozen pink post-it notes, so once they are retrieved and i get the time i type, it'll be on here pronto xD


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